My Lock & Key

 Dear Diary,
          I have become drawn to the Catholic faith. I love the idea of communing with saints and I do it pretty regularly now. I pray that they guide and protect me. It's a beautiful sentiment. 
--Aleah 

Dear Diary,
         Today I wore a huge heart necklace that was light purple with a light purple jumper, purple watch and a daisy kerchief. I felt young and carefree. I got an Uber to Target and bought myself a new mouse for my computer that has ears on it. It's so cute! It looks like a Halloween cat with ears 'cause it's black and the scroller is orange. I also bought some rubber stands for my laptop that lift my laptop a little higher on the table. It's really neat to see because I'm not cranking my neck so far down to see my laptop. I'm glad I found those little gems for five bucks. Not a bad price!
--Aleah 

P.S. New songs on my YouTube channel >> Aleah Kate - Topic - YouTube

 Today a gas station had a grand opening and I absolutely loved it! I spun the wheel at a booth and won a dollar off coupon for a chicken sandwich. I also got a free coffee. It was fun!
  In other news, some other AI songs of mine got released on platforms today so I’m pretty excited about that. I’m virtually working with a songwriter in Africa too so I’m excited about that. 

Here’s a YouTube playlist of all my songs: https://youtube.com/channel/UCEBcNpjz63qoQnuRVlA3-Bw?si=85TK78Yqr6wzrF8k

❤️ Aleah Kate 

 

 Dear Diary,

 I stayed at home all day working on music and attempting to sneak in a reading session with my library book but I failed. I just can't read anymore. I don't know why. I guess it's because I'm online a lot and I don't feel like reading or watching movies or anything. I just love listening to music. I am going to start smash journaling when Grandma gets home too. We'll see how that works out. 

  Super upset that I am uploading a bunch of pictures onto DreamWidth but not getting any luck with actually POSTING the pictures in my blog. It's very upsetting. I can't figure it out.
  
   On a happier note, I went to Target and bought some notebooks for my journaling and lyric writing for only $0.39 each. Grandma got me a kitty cat mouse wrist rest thing. It rests your wrist while you use your mouse. It's really cool. It was only $2.50 on sale. I wanted to buy books so badly but I refrained and borrowed some books from the library. I also wanted a cute five dollar digital camera but Grandma said it would be too cheap and break easily.

   Back to the library update, I had fun checking out books and CDs. I think I'll switch to CDs soon as soon as I find one of my old CD players.

   I found out my music distributer allowed another song I uploaded onto Spotify. It's called Gallows & Galleries. It's not under the Top Songs. It's under my main discography if you click my name on the Spotify player underneath. Alas, it will only work if you have the $14.99 membership to Spotify. Even though I'm trying to make a living on streaming platforms, I think I'm going to cancel my Spotify membership. It's too expensive for me, unfortunately. I'm glad I'm selling some of my songs as digital downloads and CDs though. I do see how musicians made a lot more money back then. Back then, all the songs HAD to sound amazing because people were investing in an entire catalog of music. Nowadays, people just stream mostly their favorite singles. Today, music sells at 0.0001 per stream on sites like Tidal and Spotify. That's not much money BUT making music because I love to do it is the main reason I do it. I'm not a "real musician" I let AI do everything for me. It sings the songs, creates the melodies and I just let the lyrics flow. It's FUN! I'm really happy there's people out there that don't care whether or not their music is made from a machine or a real person. To me, music is music. Let it flow. Sure, AI has it's flaws. If anything, AI sounds "too perfect" but it's fun to do when you can't afford to hire musicians. 

-- Aleah 


sites.google.com/view/aleahkatelozada/home

   

  2:33pm July 6 2026 Dear journal, Listening to girli. I love the song matriarchy. "While we touch we fuck the patriarchy." It is about sapphic love being different than straight love. I love the band Girli. I’m really closer to womanhood than masculinity lately and that’s okay. I appreciate the masculinity that I feel sometimes but I guess it’s okay that I feel only a slight connection to it nowadays. I miss being picked out in the bars. I guess I just lost myself. I used to be young. I had a good run. I guess I just need to put myself online. I hate that but it’s the only way I know how to find a woman. In a way, I don’t like men. They just like ladies young and they leave. It’s crazy. A woman could be that way too. I could find a woman or a nonbinary or whatever that tricks me too but I want to find someone. Honestly, I’m just tired of being with family. I just want to create my own family. -Aleah/Westleah

Hello!

What a happy day! I went out to the mall with Mum and Grandma and looked at purses and shoes. I bought a checkered hat at VANS. It was nice.

Later today, I got a nice lemonade from Panera’s and drank it down. I got a free cookie from Panera’s too. I’m excited to see what tonight brings!

Aleah and WestLeah

Dear Diary,

         Today I got a drink at Starbucks. I put it on my credit card but it feels good to camp out at Starbucks on my iPad. They asked my name and I told them WestLeah. Of course, people put it on the drink as Wesley but hey whatever works? Right? I told them how to spell it but it’s okay I guess. I’m drinking a passion iced tea lemonade. I was supposed to get blood work done today for my vision but it was taking too long so I rescheduled my blood work for Monday. I’m terrified of losing my vision. I get instances where I lose vision for a few seconds in one eye. It’s terrifying that it will happen to me soon. I should have stayed for my blood work. I was just there for three hours waiting and waiting. I’ll just get it done Monday at 7:15am

         It feels good being WestLeah again. Sort of like a name I haven’t outgrown yet. Yesterday, I saw someone flat chested and dressed similar to me in a muscle t shirt and black shorts and instantly, I felt dysphoria again. I wanted my top chest gone for a few minutes and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven’t felt dsyphoria in a good while. While I still mainly feel connected to womanhood, it felt good to feel a small part of masculinity come screaming back at me. I’m growing a small goatee with my facial hair that I have from PCOS. I really like it. Even though I am not entirely sure about where I stand in masculinity, it feels good to develop masculine features the best way I know I can. If it ever came down to a surgery, I think my dysphoria hits me harder when I get bottom dysphoria. I wouldn’t want the top surgery, just the bottom surgery. I don’t know what to do. I feel mostly nonbinary. Like, a lot of me is a woman. I relish that ideal, that side of me that doesn’t mind being called “ma’am” for the most part. But there are small times I wish I had people that called me WestLeah or referred to me as a they/them. I love it. 

         I went to an LGBTQ bar the other day. I was very disappointed with the fact that there was a sign up that said FREE PALENSTINE and NO ZIONISM. While I respect that everyone has their opinions, I also am ethnically Jewish. My great grandfather was Jewish. A long time ago, the Jews handed Palestine over to the Muslim leadership. They set up a secular government there and the Jews forced their people out so they could give the land over to a secular Muslim government. The Jews helped to set up a secular government and it was a beacon of hope for the Muslims until Hamas came and overthrew it. If there is anything Palestine needs to be free of, it’s Hamas. Israel isn’t the evil one here. It’s horrifying really. Also, as a Christian, the Jewish state is going to one day be eternal. Christian Scriptures say that there will be a new Jerusalem one day.  

          I read a new book. Queer & Christian. I really enjoyed it. 

         Well, gotta run

         WestLeah 

         

Sun. June 28,2026                

dear diary.

        I am listening to a new beautiful lesbian singer. The band name is girli. I really like her music. Not all of it is about falling in love with women. Some of the songs are about self esteem and how to uplift yourself.

       I don’t know where I fall in the LGBTQ community. I know I’m mostly bisexual. I used to feel pansexual given my own identify as mostly a woman but also have dysphoria for soul and body of a man. I don’t know. I have never had an experience with a cis woman save a trans woman. I’ve gone dancing with a beautiful cis woman before. She was lovely. Beautiful blue eyes and red hair. I loved her but I messed it up. My medication ruined the night out because I drank too much on mental medication so I went mentally insane. I called the police and they came to the bar and everyone didn’t like me after that. The lady that took me out took me straight home. It was very embarrassing.

I think I need to start watching lesbian porn again. I miss the chat room I was in at one time. I just feel like I want to watch it on my own now.

      I am queer in the Christian community as well. I read the book Queer And Christian and it opened my mind to a Queer Theology. I don’t agree with everything like Jesus was gay but I see how people find solace in David and Johnathan, Joseph the one who wore the dress of many colors (gender nonconforming) and a host of others. I don’t know how I feel about sex outside of marriage yet but the book invited me to explore the possibility that fornication meant sexual relations outside of consent, prostitution and sex slavery all of which degrades people. Fornication doesn’t mean purity culture like what so many churches teach. Otherwise, why would God allow concubines and multiple wives in the Old Testament? It was a very eye opening book. Although some parts of the book I couldn’t necessarily agree with, I think I am leaning more Progressive Christian than anything. 
- WestLeah